Well this year has already been jam packed with so much emotion I feel utterly exhausted!
I’m sorry that I have been so quiet over the last few weeks but this is why…..
Little did I know that there would be so much more to come that would stomp those feelings into insignificance.
I had applied for a job in November but I was not successful, however, at the end of January I was approached by the same company to apply for another job that they were advertising.
I did so as I had nothing to lose & I was intrigued at the fact that they had asked me to apply.
I was asked in for an interview which I felt went really well, the guys were approachable & the company is one I would love to work for.
A jolly good thing to as a few days later I was offered the job!
I was thrilled & after talking it through with B I accepted.
The elation of that news, however was short lived as I was phoned that same evening & told that a dear friend of mine, Joey, who I have known since school & who was suffering from cancer had been diagnosed as terminal. She & her partner were going to get married & I was invited.
I was devastated at this diagnosis.
Their wedding was the following weekend. My friend looked so beautiful as she slowly walked down the aisle with her dad.
There was not a dry eye in the house as I witnessed the ceremony amongst her family & close friends. I felt privileged to have been asked to go. I hadn’t seen Joey in a few months & she was so weak. You could see that she was fighting against the cancer & willing herself on.
On the 18th February Joey died.
It had been a week & a half since she married her husband & the father of her two adorable children.
To hear that she was gone was heartbreaking.
She had been one of my best friends for 19 years & we had been through so much together.
She was one of those people who always made you feel loved.
I miss her terribly.
These last few weeks have been a true mix of emotions as I have been given the opportunity to start a new & exciting job, tried to negotiate my leaving from my current job (not an easy discussion with my boss!) & come to terms with the loss of a great friend.
Each day is different, sometimes I feel ok & other times depressed but overall I feel so very tired.
I am trying to feel excited for the future but right now that is a little difficult, though the closer I get to my last day at work the happier I am able to get about my first day at my new job.
In the last few days I have learnt that life can be beautiful & exciting but it can also suck beyond anything you imagined. So live in a way that supports others & makes you happy. Don’t stay safe, push yourself to reach true fulfilment.
Love, be loved & enjoy yourself because one day it will end & there is no telling when that will be.