The big 3-0

Turning 30

Image taken from www.someecards.com

It’s my birthday today which would normally be something I look forward to BUT this year I turn 30.

I have spent this last year in denial. It has surprised me how much I have dreaded today I have almost HAD to be in denial about it because the very thought of turning 30 without having achieved certain things has left me in tears.
Thinking about it last month made me want to vomit & hide in a dark corner until it went away!!

It would seem a staple life lesson to be learnt in your 20’s is that life doesn’t go as you planned it!

I know it’s not the end of the world to get to this milestone & I know I am only really a day older than yesterday although it feels like a whole year.

I am trying to be happy with where I am in life.
I am a wife & a mother & these are two things I always wanted to be.
B & I own our flat (albeit paying a mortgage).
I am healthy (mostly).
I remind myself that although it’s been a hard year I know others who have had it so much harder & I am blessed to have my family & friends around me.

I have made big steps in the last few years personally to fix stuff that looked unfixable.
I’ve told you enough times that I feel more connected with myself since going to therapy & I know that this has helped me feel more ready to turn 30 than I may have done otherwise.

I have read that many women feel better about themselves in their 30’s, perhaps the pressure to look & act a certain way fades as we learn more about ourselves. I am looking forward to that.

I will try to focus on what I have achieved in my life so far rather than what I have not, though milestones like this one tend to make you wish you had ticked everything off your ‘To Do’ list.

Normally I go into work on my birthday (when on a weekday) & I go on as normal.
Today however, I have decided to take the day off & spend it in Brighton looking in my favourite shops.
I have considered a few things I could do today to commemorate turning 30, get another piercing or possibly get a tattoo (which I’ve been considering for so long now!)
Whatever I end up doing I plan on enjoying my day & reflecting on my life so far & where I might be heading………..

As Jared Leto puts it:

Fate is coming – that I know!
Time is running – got to go!
Fate is coming – that I know!
Let it gooo-oh-oh!
Here right now
Under the banner of heaven
We dream out loud.

Thanks for bearing with me while I have a mini crisis!!

Image taken from www.someecards.com

Image taken from www.someecards.com

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One thought on “The big 3-0

  1. Pingback: Good News/Bad News | purplekatie

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