This song is taken from Michael W Smith’s’s album called “Sovereign” I have been listening to it a lot lately & this is one of my favourite songs.
With all that has happened over the last year I have found that the way I think has changed.
I have often prayed before that God be in control of my life but I don’t think I have ever really meant it, not 100% at least.
I’ve wanted to mean it but I am the kind of person who likes to be in control so the thought of allowing anyone (even God) to take over & lead me to places I can’t see coming was a scary prospect.
Over this year with all that’s happened with trying to move & learning about myself through therapy I feel like God has brought me to a place where He is teaching me to be patient & happy with being less in control. These are hard lessons to learn & I don’t think I am fully there yet! However having been through so much that I haven’t been in control of asking God to take the lead now feels safer than letting anyone else be in control.
The lyrics to this song are asking God to be “Above & below me, before & behind me. In every eye that sees me, Christ be all around me.”
I sing this song as a prayer that God will always be with me & my family & “be my guide”.
The first verse also resonates with me because I do feel like my family & I are picking ourselves up to start again. I certainly feel that I am able to do this through the “strength of God” that He will “lift me up” & “be my sight”.
I’m sure I’ve written this before but B & I have had to change how we see & live our lives.
I used to live in the future a lot, I was always planning & making lists so when we had everything ready to move B & I had moved out of our flat in our minds & were firmly in the house we thought we would be buying.
So when everything fell through it meant we had to drop all those plans, all the excitement. It felt like our future had been ripped away from us.
This whole situation has meant that I don’t look so far ahead into the future. I don’t have any plans laid out ready for the next 5 years. I have hopes but not plans.
I live firmly in the present which means I’ve had to come to terms with being ok that we’re still in our flat.
I truly believe that God has been with my family & I as we have struggled through this last year. I don’t think we would have made it without Him, he has taught us to be ok with where we are & to cherish what we have.