There have been many times in the past when I have felt alone in my feelings because I did not share them with anyone.
Trying to struggle on alone can lead to depression & desperation & for some suicidal thoughts.
Thankfully I have not felt suicidal but I was feeling depressed.
Through therapy I came to realise that I had a very idealised view of what being a wife & mother was & I was never going to reach the bar I had made for myself.
Having the bar raised so high meant that I was constantly (in my view) failing & therefore considered myself to be inadequate.
Therapy helped me to learn how to communicate my feelings to others & I started to talk more to my mum about what I found difficult about being a mum myself. There were many times when she would smile & nod in agreement saying that she too had felt the same way. I came to realise that I was not alone in how I felt about motherhood, it is not easy & we are all finding our way as we go.
Finding communicating with others easier has meant I have started to confide in my friends more. I have come to realise that everything I have & am going through they are going through too in some way or another.
Reaching a point where I felt strong enough to share my feelings meant that I no longer had to fight through alone. Realising that I am not the only one who feels a certain way about situations I face has made it easier to face them.
I know that it seems easier to try & hide our problems from our friends but in the long run it is such a release to be able to share a load than try to struggle on with out help.