We experienced a disaster on tuesday.
Our buyers’ weren’t able to get their mortgage!
We on the other hand are ready to exchange but now that means nothing.
To say that B & I were devastated when we heard the news is an understatement!!
We have got angry, we have cried & now we are trying to plod on as hopefully as we can.
Last night I was knitting away & praying very hard that God would a) sort out the situation b) help me to remain calm & trust in Him & c) that mine & B’s relationship would not suffer because of the stress we are currently under.
As I was praying I felt the need to read my Bible but it was in the bedroom where Small was sleeping so I couldn’t.
Then “Matthew 5” popped into my head.
Now I’m not very good at trusting that when this happens it’s God & not me being overly hopeful. I initially dismissed it as me wanting a message from God in this overwhelming situation, but it kept niggling at me & in the end I decided the only way to know if it was me or God was to read it.
If there was no message or it was unrelated to my situation it was me, if there was a message it was God.
I downloaded a free app onto my phone that would allow me to look up Matthew 5 in The Message Bible.
Matthew 5 starts as follows:
When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him.
Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you……..”
The chapter continues by explaining other moments when we are blessed, it is worth reading, but I was not able to initially.
All I could think was “I feel like I’m at the end of my rope & I feel like I have lost something most dear to me!”
I had the biggest smile on my face & tears in my eyes. Reading those verses had felt like God had lifted me up onto his lap & given me a huge hug.
I still feel awful about our situation & I am definitely struggling with not having any control over the outcome.
BUT I know that God is with me & I need to trust in Him to get us where we need to be (not where we might want to be).
He has reminded me that I am blessed not only because I have a roof over my head & a loving supportive family; I am blessed because He is with me & my relationship with Him is deepening.
Today we received even worse news, our buyers have withdrawn their offer. Our flat is back on the market but I had to give the bad news to the agents at the other end of the chain. The vendors have asked for the house to be put straight back on the market, it is what we expected but is is such a crushing feeling!
I am clinging to what God told me yesterday & praying through my tears (& there are a lot of them!) that He will give us hope & a new home to move to.
I wrote in a previous post that I would find it really difficult if we didn’t move in before Christmas & New Year. I am struggling with the fact that we won’t but there is nothing I can do about it. Do I let it ruin Christmas or do I carry on & appreciate what I do have? There is only one reasonable answer to that.